L'eggo my ego

Internets, I'm exhausted. I know that was my excuse last night, but it's the same tonight. I tried to post earlier but was just as tired then as I am now. Well, actually I'm more tired now. You know how I know? Because I'm at the stage where little kids who are too tired (oh, and who are also two years old), get, where they whine and throw temper tantrums over what appears to be no good reason, except we all know the reason is because they are too tired. Fortunately there haven't been too many casualties or witnesses to my tantrum, but suffice it to say (in a whiny little voice), I'm REALLY tired. It's the week that's still catching up with me, and the fact that I ran 20 miles this morning. It was my longest training run until Boston, and of course me being me, I made it a challenging one. It's great to start out with roughly half a mile of steep down hill, until you realize that it means that miles 19.5-20 is practically straight up. It wasn't really that bad; it may have been hilly but I did lay out a gorgeous route for myself. I had views of the mountains, water, and mossy forest. I will say that every week I get closer to Boston, I'm more and more humbled. I have not been training enough. I'm getting my long runs in each weekend, but to maintain or increase speed, mid-week workouts are needed and I just haven't been able to put the time in lately. And it's starting to show. For the past two weeks, both of my long runs have started out extremely sluggish--it's been taking me five or six miles at least to get warmed up and to start running at my desired pace (and even then, my desired pace is actually about 30 seconds slower than my real desired pace). My ego is trying to come to terms with the fact that I ran my fastest race to get into Boston, and it is very likely that I'll run my slowest race at Boston. And I'm also trying to remind the ego my only goal was to run Boston and regardless if I ran my fastest or my slowest, I'll still get the same medal--and that's all that matters. I'm really hoping my ego will start believing me.