2.22.2011

You could throw your challenge flag, but the ruling on the field will still stand.

Guess what? ANOTHER BRAND NEW POST! We'll technically, this post isn't new. I actually wrote it on November 19, but because I already posted once on that day, I just drafted and saved it with the intent to publish a day or two or 96 later.

A couple of notes, 1) this post references my other post from November 19, so you might want to reread that (unless you read it every day for the 95 days between postings anxiously awaiting my return), and 2) I do have at least one more Bronco related post coming your way... and I hope you're on the edge of your seat because that one is the mother of all posts.

With that, enjoy.
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While I'm all fired up and raring to take on Seattle and the apparent cadre of apathetic Bronco fans that live here, I should also mention that the Commish and I went to a Blankity Blankhawks game (yes, during my two month blogging hiatus--hi, present day LMNT here. Yeah, before my most recent three month sabbatical, I guess didn't write for the two months before that. Can you believe it? I mean, THE NERVE! Internets, I'm deeply sorry to have deprived you. Really? How DID you muster the strength to carry on each day? You are very strong and resilient. I like that in an Internet. Okay, as you were). And just because it was a Blankhawks game, doesn't mean that it wasn't still Bronco Sunday, so like a true and faithful fan I donned my orange and blue.

We had seats on the aisle and at some point I told the Commish that if I were to see anyone dressed in Bronco gear I would have an uncontrollable knee-jerk reaction to yell "GO BRONCOS!" at them. In a city of enemies, it's heartening to find a comrade with whom to share a special moment, you know? A few minutes later, I spot a man coming up the stairs in a Bronco's sweatshirt and I nearly peed my pants. I start cheering and clapping the minute I see him, and as soon as he gets within high-five range I shout out "GO BRONCOS!" He looks me up and down, and essentially blows me off by asking, "Where are your colors?" I sat there dumbfounded. As I already mentioned, I was wearing orange and blue. Orange and blue. What are the Broncos' colors? ORANGE AND BLUE. There's my colors j-hole.

Oh, poor Commish. I became so incredulous and then fixated on what was wrong with this dude for the remainder of the game (3 1/2 quarters). By talking it out--mostly to myself--I came to the conclusion that he must have been color blind, but one would think that if one was color blind, one would know better than to make any comments about the colors one CANNOT see.

Needless to say, every time that idiot travelled up and down the aisle, I fought my reflex to cheer for the Broncos and completely turned my head away. Oh yeah. I showed him.

Note to self: Outward appearances are not what they seem. The Seattle-based Bronco fan must earn your trust.

2.21.2011

Is this heaven?

Yes. This is a NEW POST. Yes, a BRAND NEW POST. A BRAND NEW POST from LMNT. And, no, it's not going to be a post about not posting (for three months, yes, I know, I think the half-dozen of you who are still willing to read my ramblings have not let me forget that. So, ta-dah! This one's for you).

Remember when I remodeled my kitchen? Remember how I bought new appliances? Remember how one of those appliances was a dishwasher? A nice, new, shiny, stainless steel $600+ dishwasher. Yes? Well, the first time I ran the dishwasher, I noticed a puddle of standing water under my sink. Now I ask you, what would any normal homeowner do upon finding a puddle of water under their sink? Call a plumber and have it fixed immediately? Is that your final answer? Ha. Hello, I'm LMNT. I know I haven't posted in three months, but you do know me, right?

Oh, I did call a plumber to have it replaced, it just took me two-and-a-half years to make that happen. But don't think that the dishwasher just sat around not being used for those two-and-a-half years. I put it to great use as the world's nicest, newest, shiniest, stainless steeliest (and spendiest) drying rack. That's right, for the past two-and-a-half-years I've been washing my dishes--and by washing my dishes I mean using my dishes and then leaving them in my sink because I HATE DOING DISHES and then finally washing them when the pile becomes unbearable--by hand and drying them in the dishwasher. That's part laziness, part tolerance, and part aversion to technology. I mean, it's been seven years since I've had a dishwasher.

We could go down the road analyzing why I didn't call the plumber, but we're not going to, because today I called a plumber, and he came to my house to fix the leak, TODAY! Note to self: if you call them, they will come. In fairness to me, I've actually called a couple of plumbers, none of whom worked out. But today, John C. Reilly the plumber showed up (short diversion: the Commish and Monster have used the plumbing company I called for work they've had done before and they've talked about John C. Reilly's doppelganger the plumber. When I opened the door today, there he was... I half expected Will Ferrell to pop out from behind the shrubs).

So, John C. Reilly the plumber diagnosed my dishwasher dilemma and a little bathroom faucet drip and it turns out he's going to come back tomorrow to do all of the work. Which means tonight I'm using every single dishwasher safe dish I own because tomorrow I'll have the complete deal: nice, new, shiny, stainless steel, $600+ washer and drying rack all-in-one.