Kids, take a lesson from Little Ms. Notetaker, when the universe is conspiring to shower good things upon you, careful not to deflect them with fake walls you've built.
Note to self: Don't waste energy on making up stories on why things have or haven't happened. And have patience.
Remember that contest? The one that I entered, and then became a top-20 contender (and then begged and pleaded for your votes), and then became one of the four finalists? Well, when I found out that I was a finalist the e-mail notification I got stated that the grand prize winner would be notified on or around September 22nd. And in my brain that read, "The winner will be notified ON September 22nd," and then I went ahead and filled in the blanks with, "our messages to you have been timely, so if you don't hear from us on the 22nd then you're not the winner. Thanks for playing. We've selected the flute-wielding dude, but good try, Little Ms. Notetaker."
Self-defense mechanism, much?
And I knew I was doing this when I was doing it, but old habits die hard--and it actually feels good and safe to do that. I had fortified my walls with the resolution that to be in the top four was still an amazing accomplishment, that amazing friends and family had bolstered my self-esteem, that I was the real winner because I ended up with a dream kitchen that I love.
But you know what feels better than making those walls, finding out you actually won. Holy buckets, geez, and hot potatoes! Not but an hour after I told someone that had I won, I would have certainly heard by now, I got a pleasant surprise.
I'm humbled, and honored, and looking forward to two hours with Steve Watson, and money for my next project. I'm still really shocked and needing to keep pinching myself. Thanks to everyone (friends, families, complete strangers who succumb to my badgering or the badgering of my friends and families) for your support. I love what Coach A had to say, "You've got fabulous down. Check that box." So yeah, don't let yourself get in the way of your fabulousness.