7.23.2008

Bringing about the fall of humankind

Apparently my seriously heavy post the other day was beckoning the universe to open up its flood gates for Little Ms. Notetaker oglers. First, we had the whole "tush" episode, and then over the weekend I had a back-to-back apple accosting.

I'm walking over to the Commish and Monster's place, minding my own business, eating an apple, like you do, when I decide to cross the street to drop off some mail and because that's the way to their house. I was so into my apple and walking that I didn't realize there was a group of three guys sitting on the lawn of the house I was bypassing with my street crossing. They start giving me heck (in a somewhat flirty way, if you're into that aggressive heck-giving flirtation) for crossing the street and avoiding them.

So I holler back at them (I guess I am a holla' back girl) that this is the way I'm going and I have to drop off some mail. Just trying to be a friendly neighbor. Without missing a beat one of them yells at me, "that apple sure looks nice and juicy" in a way that is not nice and innocent. I scrunched my face up and looked at him quizzically--did he just insinuate lewdness with my apple? I laughed it off, told them to have a nice evening, and kept walking and eating.

Not half of a block later, a guy walking down the opposite side of the road yells out to me, hey pretty lady... you want to share that with me? Again, completely floored that my apple is having this affect on not just one, but multiple people, I look at him and ask, "uh, seriously? My apple?" He just laughed and told me he was joking. Uh, no duh.

But really, an apple? An apple? A banana. Now that's an easy mark for entendre, or better yet, an ice cream cone. I'd totally get that, but an apple? Really?

Even now, I'm still baffled. The only thing I can think of is that they reverted to primal biblical urges and there I was, Eve, tempting them with the forbidden fruit. But that can't be it, because if my neighborhood was Eden, I don't think there would be so many empty Capri Suns tossed in my yard. I don't remember those ever being mentioned in the Bible.

2 comments:

Angie @ Flibbertigibberish said...

Funny post, Chiquita. :) Now THAT would've had them talking!

little ms. notetaker said...

Oh, I totally forgot about that! SOL (snorting out loud).