A trip down to IKEA this weekend elicited my Pavlovian response. You see, a trip to IKEA always ends with two bags of Swedish Fish. One for me at home, and one for me in the car ride home.
This past weekend's trip had me even more excited for the treats than ever. Ever since I became kitchenless a month ago, I may be a little bit on the malnourished side. I'm trying to eat well, heck, I'm just trying to eat, but it's really hard. I've been eating out a lot--and a few friends have taken pity on me and are forcing me to eat items other than cereal, toast, hummus and chips. Let me tell you right now, carrots are pretty freaking exotic additions to the diet. So the thought of fruit flavored candy made me feel like I was doing something good.
I was joking with friends that I may end up with scurvy--I mean seriously, do people still get that. But then I actually got nervous that I may. Yes, tell me more about these things you people call "oranges"...
At any rate, I looked up the symptoms of scurvy and I'm pretty sure I'm going to live. Although, I did have some massive nosebleeds when I was back in Colorado, but I blame that on the altitude; and my gums have been a little puffy lately, but I blame that on my laziness in not flossing. And now that I think about it, I have been bruising all over the place, but I blame that on my clumsiness and having cabinets, appliances, and power tools strewn about my whole world.
Note to self: Floss and take your vitamins daily.
Have no fear, I'll ward off the scurvy starting tomorrow. But if you do happen to notice me bleeding into my muscles or if I start to complain about having loose teeth, just shower me in OJ. And after that, let's sit around and laugh about the time I almost died from a pirate's disease. But if I do die, bury me in this shirt. That would be funny and not at all inappropriate.
3 comments:
A dear friend of mine couldn't figure out what was wrong with him after going to may doctors. So he took matters into his own hands and looked up his symptoms on line.
The doctor who he saw next said to him "you have to be careful going to "Dr. Google," and leave that to the experts. The doctor then came back with the exact diagnosis that my friend had found online.
And while I don't believe you will ever die of scurvy, I will attend that funeral if you do, and when I see that shirt, I shall just say "Aye!."
Oh my gosh, it is too late and I've had too much water tonight to be reading your blog. You've been on a roll lately. You're killing me! HA!
That shirt is hilarious. I wouldn't miss your funeral for the world. I'll even be sportin' my ARRRGH!-gyle socks for ya, matey!
(Oh my gosh, that was so beyond not-funny. I need to go to bed.)
Doh. How do you delete lame comments?!
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