My refrigerator, my life?

After too many weeks to count, I finally went to the grocery store today. I believe I can justify it by saying I've spent so many weekends away, and my week nights are busy with different activities, but really, it's just my excuse for being l-a-z-y.

Since we've already got the fact that I am (or can be) lazy out on the table, I will not be as ashamed to divulge what is in my fridge. Here it goes:

• Five--yes, five--jars of marinara sauce. All of which are at varying levels, not really different flavors either. Two are half full, two a spoon scrape away from being empty, and one is essentially empty, I just keep it in there so the others can have a friend.
• A few Tupperware containers of old leftovers--I don't think I can be honest about how old.
• Two empty soy milk cartons--waiting to be composted.
• Several bags of salad and veggies--it pains me that I waste so much money on these things. EVERY trip to the store I say to myself, "this week, I won't waste this salad." And EVERY week I waste the salad.
• An entire shelf dedicated to "the things I really need to recycle, but I'm scared to open because of what may be in there and because my garbage is not full and I don't want that stinky scary item haunting my kitchen." And before you think, "uh, you could take the garbage out half full," remember that I know that... and refer back to the first paragraph.

So I lied, I am ashamed about what's in my fridge. And it makes me sad that I'm that lazy, or maybe it's lackadaisical, about the fridge. When I opened it up to put the new groceries away tonight, I was struck with the sudden reality that the fridge may actually be a metaphor for my life right now. I've got a lot on the shelf of "things I really need to deal with, but I'm scared to because of what may be in there and I don't want them haunting my life," just sitting there, festering. Every so often I open the door and I see them there, and they stress me out, but I don't deal with them, I just close the door (and reach for the cookies in the pantry... oh don't even get me started on what that's a metaphor for).

It's hard to make room for my new, fresh groceries (I had to do some major rearranging of marinara jars and soy milk cartons) when the old is taking up so much space.

Note to self: The energy it will take to put into what I don't want to do, is drastically less than the energy I will spend stressing out about how much I don't want to do it.

I'm making the promise to myself that tomorrow, I'll take some important steps to cleaning off my shelf. And as for my fridge, well, that will have to wait for a weekend when I'm finally in town.