Pavement pounding

Next weekend, after Thanksgiving, I'm registered to run the Seattle Half Marathon.

Note to self: When you register for a physical endurance event, train for said physical endurance event.

After finishing my career as a college athlete, I came to the realization that I needed external stimuli to do any physical activity. Up to that point, I had been through eight really intense years of volleyball where I was constantly told what do do and where to be, and I had become pretty reliant on that. So when my days on a competitive team ended, and I no longer had a coach or a team to which I was accountable, I didn't do jack crap. And it felt good. I'd wake up in the morning thinking, "Oh, I should get up and work out." Then I would just chuckle to myself, think, "Ha. Why?" and roll over and fall back asleep.

It took me a couple years before I grew restless and started working out again. And when I finally did, it took me being accountable to someone else. So I started working out with friends, and that was great. And then I took up running and trained with Team in Training through the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Yes, a team with teammates and a coach. I've subsequently trained with the team three times.

I also know myself well enough that I really need some sort of goal to actually put any energy into working out. So, when I registered for the Seattle Half Marathon, I thought that was goal enough.

Wrong.

The race is nine days away, and I've run four times in the past month. For better or worse, one of those runs was 10 miles, so at least I know that I'll be able to finish the race. And luckily for me, I don't really ever fall too far out of shape. So in that sense, all is well.

However, I also don't really ever fall out of my competitiveness. And while I need a goal toward which I can train, that goal is usually one of iterative improvement. Every race I've run has been faster than the one before--until next weekend. In fact, I already know that next weekend's race will be the slowest I've ever run. There's just no way that I can even try to run the pace I ran last year or that I've ever run.

I haven't quite come to terms with that, yet. I know that is what happens when you don't train for your event and now I'm trying to know what happens when you run a race just for running's sake.