So I know that I can get set in my ways, so set that I may appear inflexible, but sometimes my ways are just the best way so there's no other way to be but set.
I also know that I'm PMSing like nobodies business--sorry I just made it yours--which tends to make me a little more stubborn, and in the case of tonight, a little more bitter than normal. But I don't care, I'm holding on to that for a little bit.
Note to self: Next time someone you know asks to borrow boxes to pack up their kitchen either a.) absolutely insist that you get them back, no matter what, even if you break up and you just want to be done with him, or b.) don't give him the good boxes.
Tonight was "pack up the kitchen night" in preparation for this weekend's demolition derby. On my list of things I don't like to do around the house (second to mowing/edging the lawn) is packing. However, I've moved enough in the past seven years that I have it down to a science, or at least I did. For every move I'd use the same boxes, and the same wrapping, for the same content. I had this perfect box for all of my glasses and inside of that box were the perfect little brown paper bags from World Market that wrapped each glass... perfectly. But when I went downstairs to find that box, and all of the boxes I normally use for my kitchen supplies they were nowhere to be found. That's because they are sitting in a basement one mile away, filled with someone else's crap that was never unpacked after their kitchen was remodeled a year and a half ago. See, I told you I was bitter.
When we broke up and had the final drop-off of each other's belongings, I asked him for those boxes. I was anticipating my remodel and my set science for packing up my kitchen. But when he hemmed and hawed about getting me the boxes, I just didn't want to deal with it. I thought to myself, I can get new boxes and pack up the kitchen just fine. But somehow tonight, it wasn't just fine. I was cursing his name, damn you marinara jar.
And now, as I'm getting ready to turn in for the night, I'm sitting here thinking do I really need to be such a negative Nancy about this whole thing? Why am I holding onto these boxes? And where is this bitterness coming from--and will it go away before morning? And aren't I creating a new science? And shouldn't that be exciting? But really I loathe packing, so I know that I won't fool myself into thinking that. Really, I think it's just that I dislike packing so much, that making the excuse that I don't have my perfect boxes and my perfect wrappings because of the ex is much more gratifying to bitter ol' me than actually getting the packing done.
At any rate, I did get the glasses packed in different boxes. And that's not so bad. I also managed to save a couple of boxes to finish tomorrow night. I'm hoping that maybe then I will be a little less bitter and a little more open to possibility of the new.
A second note to self: If the bitterness remains, take yourself to World Market and buy fun worldly stuff that comes in those perfect little paper bags so you can start stocking up for next time.
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