LOBSTER MEAL OF YOUR LIFETIME!

That was the sign that greeted a friend and I as we entered a local Malaysian restaurant for lunch. And they were not joking.

We were seated next to the tank that held the "LOBSTER MEAL OF YOUR LIFETIME!" and it was the size of a toddler. I'm serious. A toddler that can wobble around and speak--and can fight a feisty and ginormous crab (likely the CRAB MEAL OF YOUR LIFETIME!). And this toddler lobster had pincers that could easily snap off limbs... not digits, but limbs, people! The proprietor of the place kept pointing it out to different tables of hungry customers, "It's a great deal. Look at that lobster, it's GIANT."

I don't like shellfish, so regrettably I will probably never know the joy of the LOBSTER MEAL OF MY LIFETIME! I didn't get the lobster, but I did get a surprisingly awful after-lunch candy with the bill.

Note to self: Do not eat the hard candy that has a corn cob on the wrapper. You know why? Because it is candy that tastes like corn on the cob... on purpose!