Does it a body good?

Note to self: When you are lactose intolerant, you should NOT consume dairy products.

An obvious note, to be sure, but one that I REFUSE to heed. I have lived an unbelievably fortunate life, which is why the next statement I make is not at all an exaggeration--it may be ridiculous, but I swear it's the truth: the most awful horrible thing that has ever happened in my life is finding out I'm lactose intolerant.

I know, I should be thankful. Believe me, I am. For that to be awful in my world is very fortunate--yes, RIDICULOUS, but very fortunate. But, in all honesty, it's so unbelievably unfortunate. I love milk. I don't think I really started drinking water on my own volition until I got to college and didn't have gallons upon gallons of milk at my disposal 24 hours a day. I love milk so much so that I would marry it. I would marry it and make excuses for it hurting me so, just to maintain our abusive relationship. And don't even get me started on cheese.

Truth be told, I've been allergic to milk since I was born. As a baby, my mom had to give me soy milk, but I somehow grew out of it, or at least it went latent. Until last May, when the allergy reared it's ugly head. There is no need for me to tell you about my symptoms; suffice it to say that when I have dairy products I'm miserable and when I avoid them I'm happy and sunshiny (well, on the outside, on the inside I'm miserable because, "WHERE IS ALL THE CHEESE?!").

This evening I had an impromptu happy hour with a coworker that then stretched into a kajillion course meal ending with the most amazing hot fudge sundae and New Orleans bread pudding with cream. Yes, ice cream and cream. Hmmmm. Were I smart, I would have turned it down. But in my little head, I think, "maybe today is the day that my lactose intolerance is on vacation?" or "maybe today is the day my body will just say 'yes' to bovine byproduct." Alas, today was not that day. But the sundae was amazing... while it lasted.