I see London

Note to self: Before stepping out in public, make sure your clothes are in tact.

Last week, I had two very unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions. The first occurred when I was getting out of my car in the work parking garage. I couldn't understand why the person across the parking aisle from me was staring as I walked down the garage toward the elevator, so I continued to walk with my bag slung across my body. When I got to the elevator, I figured out what was so stare worthy: my cute little floral tunic had become completely unbuttoned during my drive in and I walked around the garage with my bra hanging out like it ain't no thang.

A couple days later, after hopping off of a bus and walking a few city blocks--with more than a few unexpected glances up and down--I realized the denim mini-skirt I was wearing had shifted more than 90 degrees. The fly was siting on my hip and with every step was inching itself into a full rotation around my mid-section.

These two incidents, while somewhat embarrassing, do not even compare to the ultimate apparel fiasco I faced as a kid--it was enough to make even Janet and Justin blush.

First-grade little me had just come in from recess and our class was about to head into P.E. It was a catholic school (this is before I went to my other elementary school where my friends and I gained notoriety as the singing detectives) and it was the early 80s, which means the uniforms we had to wear were polyester plaid little beauties. As girls, we had two options, we could wear plaid pants (think royal blue and kelly green Brady Bunch bell-bottoms), or jumpers in the same material and pattern. I was a jumper girl myself, and had three or four of them. On days when we had gym class, jumper girls would wear a pair of shorts underneath. When it was time to line-up at the classroom door to head to the gymnasium, jumper grils would strip down to their shorts. So I stripped off my jumper, threw it on my desk and got in line. It wasn't until I had been standing in line for a few moments that I realized I forgot to put shorts on that day. So there I was, standing in front of the class in my little blouse and underwear. Awesome.

You know how you have that dream where you're at school, naked? Yeah it was kind of like that, only I was definitely awake.