Getting to second base

Last weekend, I had my "experience of a lifetime." Yes, friends, I was the guest groundskeeper at a Mariner's game.

"What does a guest groundskeeper do?" you ask. First of all, the guest groundskeeper gets to give two fantastic box seats to her lucky friends for the game, and she forces those friends to have fun, oh and to take pictures.

After batting practice, groundskeepers spring into action and start hosing, raking, chalking, and other groundsing and keeping activities. It is a very precise science, and because guest groundskeepers are not scientific in that way, you get to hold the hose above the ground so it doesn't drag across the freshly raked dirt.

Then you spend a lot of time standing around just trying to look good (and impress some of the, sigh, cute players in the dugout, but instead of impressing the player you've suddenly decided might need to be the father of your gaggle of children, you impress the team's trainer. Well, it's a start, and he gets to touch that particular player) while the real groundskeepers do their serious business. You don't do much until the bottom of the third inning, when you spring into major action.

As soon as the third out is completed, you run out onto the field leading all of the other groundskeepers out there--heart racing because you don't want to make a mistake in front of 30,000 people. I understand that the world is a stage, but seriously, I've never done anything where there's a potential for 30,000 people (that's 60,000 eyes, assuming everyone in the crowd has two of them... I'm just saying) to be focused on you.

Then you kick the base. Kick it real good.
Then get down there and pick it up. Hurry the rakers are coming from both angles. Get. The. Base. Out. And then plug it with your little plug thingy.Then just stand there and smile. Look at your friends frantically waving at you trying to get you to wave back. Smile bigger and try to let them know (through psychic-ness) that you've been given strict instructions to NOT WAVE, and realize they aren't picking up on that vibe and just keep trying to get you to wave.

When the raking is complete, put the base back in place and walk off the field--like you are a serious groundskeeper, because duh, you are.Then in the sixth inning. Stand in the grass with a shovel.

This definitely was the "experience of a lifetime" and gets the LMNT stamp of approval. It has been a long time since I've made it to second and this was well worth it--even if I did have to pay for it.