Hypocritesayswhat?

Hello. I am the pot and I am black. Oh, and I live in a glass house which is in no way conducive to my nasty habit of juggling rocks.

Remember how I went on and on about not getting a second date (even though I didn't really care about getting a second date with any of those guys)? Or remember how I had a second date this past weekend. Yeah, I thought so. Here's the deal. Date number two happened on Sunday and I'm not that into him. The hypocrisy comes into play because I'm using a few things as "excuses" for why I'm not that into him. Because I know you're itching for one of my longish posts, we'll dissect a couple of them:

1. He lives in a studio apartment--Okay, and yes, my last place was a pseudo studio apartment. However, it was a great space (and I had definitely created that feeling of separate rooms, and I made my bed and washed my sheets, and I LOVED that place), and you didn't open the front door and fall into the unmade boy bed. Nor did you have to crawl over said unmade boy bed to get between the living room couch where you will eat your meals and the kitchen. I know I'm being a complete snot when I say this, but I just feel like if you were trying to impress a girl on a second date maybe you would have at least made the bed which is the central focal point of your entire apartment. Or at least maybe done something to make it not look, feel, smell like a college dorm room. It's not so much the fact that he is living in a studio apartment (again, I LOVED my place), but the fact that it really didn't seem like he had much pride in his place or even in trying to impress me. Yes, I am shallow.

2. He made me lunch--Oh, and you all are going to have a heyday with this one. Is it abundantly clear that I do know that I'm a hypocritical brat for thinking this? Lunch consisted of boiling some Trader Joe's tortellini and opening up a can of marinara sauce and dumping it on top. Now, this is actually a common meal for me to make--for myself. And my friends reminded me later on Sunday, that I had actually toyed with the idea of having a dinner party on Sunday (to which this guy would have been invited) where I had also toyed with the idea of serving tortellini in a creamy tomato sauce. Once you stop laughing, you'll see that the difference is in the creamy tomato sauce. I have to saute garlic, boil the tomato sauce, gently stir in the cream, and add red pepper flakes. While it's not much more than opening a jar and dumping the contents on the pasta... it's a little something special.

3. He's too into me--I cringe at the fact that I just typed that. Yes, I did complain that none of those other guys were into me. Yes, I know.

What is wrong with me?!

Oh wait, I know what it is. Note to self: I don't think I'm ready for this yet. My last relationship (with the-jar-who-must-not-be-named) ended because he didn't feel a spark. And now, I'm looking for a spark, but am questioning everything I feel. "Was that a spark or just desperation?" "Was that a spark or have the two drinks finally kicked in?" "Was that a spark or am I just hungry?" See, if I had a spark with this guy, his apartment could probably smell like anything, and he could have made me PB and J, and I know I would have overlooked it. But because it's not there, and because I want it to be somewhere so badly, I've become the overly critical hypocrite.

Despite the fact that I don't think I'm ready for this, I continue to be completely obsessive compulsive on the online dating thing (because what if someone will be online and have e-mailed me now, or maybe now, or maybe now, or maybe now...). Despite the fact that I'm not that into him, I returned his call. And now I may have plans on Saturday. Hang on, friends, I have to go run and call the kettle...