And just like that, Little Ms. Notetaker is single again. And I knew, I knew it was going to happen, I was just in serious denial. I wanted to believe so badly that it wasn't, that my gut was wrong, but it wasn't and I knew it. Ugh. Sometimes I hate it when I'm right.
I'm angry. And I'm hurt, but mostly I'm tired. I really don't want to have to do this all over again. It's exhausting. And there's a little feeling in my gut that I will always be single--and that I really need to accept that fact. And the sooner I do that, the sooner I can just get on with life. But that's not the reality I want. So what do you do about that? Cry about it to the Internets on a Friday night? Well, that's what I'm doing.
Deep down (buried just beyond my bitterness), I know that this is a blessing. That this is actually freeing me up for amazingness beyond my wildest imagination. But that's the thing, how long can a girl sustain her imagination? Someday, New Friend will be replaced by a better, newer, thinner--ooh, did I say that? Well, I did mention that I was hurt and bitter, so I may as well add passive aggressive--friend. Someone worthy. Someone who will feel a damn spark. What the hell? It's not like I'm a cold wet rag, am I? I like to think I'm actually fun, outgoing, and sparky. So what's with all the duds?
2 comments:
Go get um, Sparky!
shit, holmes. i'm really sorry to hear about this.
don't worry about being single forever. i hear it's what all the cool kids are doing these days. you want to be cool, right?
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