I've been single for a year now (the marinara jar and I broke up last Memorial Day weekend, ah good times), and I decided about a month ago to take a dating hiatus. Some of you may have noticed that my posts recounting various dates have essentially come to a screeching halt--maybe because I have NO GAME. Take for instance today...
--
(Walking into the kitchenette near my office. I spot a boy that I think is cute and that works down at the end of the hall--in my mind we have a little thing going on, and when I say "thing," I mean that I purposefully take a route to the printer so that I walk by his office and when I do so, I pretend that I'm so engrossed at what I printed out that I don't even notice that he's in his office. His "thing" is that he pretends that he's working when I walk by and he doesn't even look up. Yeah, I'd say we're pretty serious).
Me (thinking to myself): Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, it's him! And he's out of his office! WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?
Him (standing there, heating his lunch in the microwave):--
Me (thinking to myself again): Oh, I should say something, definitely. Yes, say something. But what should I say?
Him (standing there still heating his lunch in the microwave):--
Me (walking to the water cooler near the microwave, start filling up water bottle): Hey.
Him (standing there still heating his lunch in the microwave): Hey.
Me (thinking to myself again): Okay, that's a start. Now say something else.
Microwave: Ding.
Me (as usual, frantically thinking...): Agh! Here he comes to the microwave. Say something, say anything, say it now.
Him (pulls food out of microwave)
Me: Mmmm, that smells good.
Him: (laughs) Yeah.
My water bottle is now full. So I head off to my meeting.
--
Yep, see I told you, we've totally got a serious thing going on. I think I may be riding the "L" train to Exclusiveville.
Note to self: Pull the emergency stop on this train, hop off, and don't you dare get back on until you find your game... or at least something better than "mmm, that smells good."
1 comment:
Sorry... I never comment when I read. But this one cracked me up the other day when I read it. Too funny.
You are smooooooooooth. You'd better put in a call to your local radio psychologist and see if she has any tips for you. If not, then there may be no way to move forward.
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