Tis the season...

Really. 'Tis. I swear it.

I have to admit, since I've become a grown-up (I'd like to qualify that as "since I've felt like I am a grown-up" which is honestly only in the past five years), I just haven't gotten into the holiday spirit. I often wonder if I'm missing a really important gene. I have friends--and I'm often accosted by them for not being ho-ho-holiday--who absolutely adore Christmas, who get real trees, and actually decorate them. In my mind they do all that whilst cider is brewing on the stove and the Carpenter's Christmas album is on extended repeat on the stereo.

There is nothing wrong with that. I like cider, and a Karen Carpenter Christmas reminds me of home. But for some reason, I have absolutely NO desire to do any of that, ever. It puzzles me. My stock excuses are: 1.) I'm lazy, and if I don't put decorations up, then I don't have to take them down, and 2.) I'm never here for Christmas anyway, so what's the point. Those are definitely the easy answers. But I don't know if they are wholly true.

Oh, and I also don't send out cards or a letter. But that, I firmly believe, is laziness. If I set the expectation level low--like you're not getting a card--then you won't be disappointed when one isn't in your mailbox. In fact, consider this post your card, "Happy Holidays from my household to yours. And many bright wishes for a wonderful New Year." Look at that, you get all the glory of Hallmark, without all the loose glitter all over your hands, table, floor...

I know that I'm not alone feeling this way. Many people I talk to keep finding it harder to pour themselves that cuppa cheer. I wonder if it's because I'm single (last Christmas was the only Christmas I've spent attached), or if it's because I don't have kids? Maybe the wonder and joy they have is contagious? I sure hope so, because I'd like to think that some day I'll have a use for all the ornaments I have stashed in storage.

It just feels like Christmas has lost that magic--and it's lost in all the commercialism. For me, Christmas is about love and family. It should be special. And I don't think any amount of lights or any tree, real, fake, or otherwise, can bring about any of those things. Am I being too cynical?

My hope is that when I get back to my family, the warmth and the love I feel there will be all the specialness that I need.

Note to self: Until then, keep the ho-ho-hope alive!