There I was, in Arcadia

Before I start this post, I just need to give you a glimpse into the setting from which I'm writing. I'm in one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle (one with free Wi-Fi, w00t). It's an old building that used to be a lodge for the Oddfellows Society. Thus it is aptly named, Oddfellows. I was feeling a little sorry for myself today, so I decided to treat myself to dinner and am so glad I did. Here I sit, with a belly full of good wine, gnocchi with sharp cheddar fondue, bacon, and broccoli, and chocolate ginger bread pudding. Every table is lit with a small tea light candle in dainty little mugs and small bud vases with babies breath. The music selection right now: Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone (one of my all-time favorites). And I'm blogging again. Ah, all is right with the world, at least for tonight.
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Last night saw the close of the play on which I've been working so hard, Arcadia. It is a very heady, very challenging play by Tom Stoppard. It took me three full reads and a listen to a recording on NPR before I actually started liking it (and by that time I had already been cast in one of the lead roles). Suffice it to say it's not my favorite play and that's not what drew me to audition or accept the role, but I'm so glad I did.

Heading into the audition I knew I had a good chance at playing the role of Hannah Jarvis, a sarcastic, independent, somewhat reserved and stand-offish, published researcher. I mean, hello? Do you know me at all? Can you say dream role? Oh, and she's English, so yes, I got to pretend I was Emma Thompson for the past three months. And according to the biased reviews from my friends (and some unsolicited genuine comments from a handful of strangers), I managed to pull it off.

I auditioned for the show the night before Mr. McMichael and I headed to Mexico. And I did so under the auspices of hoping for the ridiculously big challenge of playing a lead role. There's a lot of dialogue in this show. A LOT. And considering I had only been in two productions previously--playing minor characters in both--the thought of all that memorizing (oh, did I mention it's a play about math and physics?) scared the crap out of me. And because of that, I auditioned.

And because of our Mexican vacation, I missed call backs. So, I just had to hope that I nailed my initial audition enough to land the part. I felt pretty confident that I did well and got a sign of sorts that first night on vacation. Mr. M and I were walking along the beach and we came across a beach-front restaurant. The friendly host convinced us to stop and have a margarita on the beach and as he grabbed us a couple of menus, I looked up and noticed that we were indeed having drinks at: Restaurant Arcadia.

Two days later, I was offered the role. And in that instant I was extremely thrilled and ready to vomit. For a moment I considered not taking it simply because it scared the crap out of me. But take it I did, and I ran the hell out of that part. At the risk of sounding really arrogant (please believe me, I'm not, I'm just really proud of myself for tackling a very big, very scary challenge, and working so very hard on it), I was really really good. It helps that I was fortunate to share the stage with a couple of amazing actors, and it also helps that I didn't really have to act too much to play the neurotic Hannah (if you saw the show, you know what I mean). But as is the case with most things I do in life, I threw myself into this 100% and I feel so good with the result.

Only now, it's over.

Arcadia refers to the pastoral and the idyllic. And while I can say the lead up to the show would not have been considered in most circles idyllic, it was perfect for where I was. I learned so much about myself, so much. I fell even more in love with acting and live theatre. I was challenged. I made new friends. And, although neither the best nor the most healthy coping strategy, I was able to focus on the show and not on the ending of my relationship with Mr. M.

As is the case, all things come to an eventual end. And here I am now in an Arcadia of sorts (I still have some bread pudding and wine left, yay). It's time for me to deal with real life. First, I think I need to catch up on some sleep and maybe deal with some of the emotional stuff I've been displacing, for very soon, a new challenge will be calling me, they always do. I'm not going to lie, the thought of "what's next" is scaring the crap out of me right now. But I also know that I can and will rise to the challenge, and I will eventually feel so good with the result.