Chaperoning myself

Why, hello there, Internets! Yes sirree, you are correct, it has been a long time since I've written. But, here I am, ta-da!

Have you been wondering what I've been up to? Well, apparently since I've been not blogging, I have been becoming Little Ms. Couch Potato. Damn you, TV (I am shaking a crooked finger in the general direction of my DirecTV box). And tonight, I fell victim to really bad TV--first The Bachelor and then The Conveyor Belt of Love. You read that right. It's shameful, really. As I sat here, thoroughly disgusted with myself, two thoughts kept coming up for me. Unfortunately neither of those thoughts were, "Turn off the TV, LMNT, and do something productive." Nope. First, I thought THANK GOODNESS (really, thank Mr. McMichael) I'm not one of those women, and second, as awkward as the dating world can be, it sure did give me a crapload of fodder for blog posts, didn't it?

So guess what you're going to get tonight? A "new" dating post.

Fret not, Internets, I'm still quite ecstatically with Mr. McMichael. And more importantly, fret not, Mr. McMichael, I didn't go out on a secret date behind your back just so I could finally have something to write about.

No, we're jumping into the way back machine to learn about some of the crazy I attracted in the past. The captain has illuminated the "Fasten Seat Belt" sign and we have been cleared for take-off. Oh goody.

A few months ago, I got a friend request from a Random Old Dude on Facebook, we'll call him ROD. I saw his picture, and it didn't ring a bell; I looked to see what friends we had in common--zero. I thought this man clearly had me confused with another LMNT, so I denied his request. And let me just say, I don't do that often, but as far as I knew, I didn't know who this guy was and I wasn't getting any clues from his profile or from our lack of common friends, so access denied. Only, ROD is one persistent little dude. He re-requested and I re-denied. While I was home for the holidays, he re-requested yet again. And as I sat there, amazed at ROD's audacity, I think I figured out who he is.

About 11 years ago, when I was in college or grad school, or in between college and grad school, it's all fuzzy, I made the Link go with me to see a band that I loved. A few years before that, I won a handful of tickets in a middle-of-the-night-radio-contest, like you do (the question the DJ posed after playing Wang Chung, "which Cheers character walked into the bar and said, 'Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.'" The answer, Frasier Crane), to go to this small music festival and see this band headline. After hearing them play there, I was hooked. And whenever they'd travel to Denver for a show, I'd be there.

Here's where it all gets a little bit more fuzzy: There is a CD release event for the band up in Boulder and I drag Link up to it. Maybe we win some trivia or something, or get some band schwag. ROD approaches us and starts talking, about what I don't remember, but he was kind of sort of the manager of the band, or a promoter, or just Boulder's superfan or something. Fuzzy I tell you. But what wasn't fuzzy was the fact that I wasn't into him and I was almost 20 years his junior. I was 21, naive, and too nice. And he was pushing 40, not naive and too old--Me? Date someone in his 40s? Pshaw. That right there is pure crazy talk. He asked me out, but I thought it would be more fun if the three of us--ROD, Link, and me--went out instead. Adult group date, wheeeee! Apparently, I'm the only one of the three of us that thought that would be fun. Ah, naivite. I was so far in denial about it being a date. Once I realized it was supposed to be a date, I was so glad for my chaperone Link, partly because I didn't think I'd remember what ROD looked like, and mostly because I didn't want ROD to think I was into him.

Funny thing, even though the fuzz is thick all these years later, I keep denying his requests on Facebook for the same reasons: partly because I don't remember if that's what ROD looked like, and mostly because I don't want ROD to think I am into him. Only I'm not as naive and not as nice these days, it's easy for me to say "no," and then thank goodness for Mr. McMichael.