Recurring dreams and rubber sheets

Why am I about to tell you this, Internets? I think it may be because my posting has been light and my Catholic guilt is getting the best of me. My penance? To give you a post that might be a little embarrassing. Okay, or a lot embarrassing.

Note to self: Do not chug a full water bottle before you go to bed.

The very sad truth about this note is it's a lesson I seem bound to keep learning and relearning.

Last weekend I did something I never thought I would do. I learned to knit. And, in typical LMNT fashion, I became absolutely obsessed with knitting that day. My friend AP came over at 8:00 AM. Yes, 8:00 AM. And after we inhaled my signature dark chocolate chip, walnut, banana pancakes, she taught me to knit. Three hours and one bloody mary each later, I was on my way to creating the world's widest scarf. Six hours after that, I called her in a panic because I had a fear I didn't have enough yarn, or a giraffe around whose neck I could wrap this scarf--seriously it was almost a foot wide. So with her coaching, I unraveled the whole thing and started over. Nine hours after that (for those of you less-than-advanced time-telling folks out there, that means it was 2:00 AM. Yes, 2:00 AM.), I stopped knitting.

I knitted the entire time, except for an hour when I scrounged together a meager meal and updated Facebook with a status about my inability to STOP KNITTING. With singular focus on not dropping stitches, I pretty much didn't do anything I should have that day--especially the really important stuff, like drink any water. So what did I do? That's right, I chugged a full water bottle and then went directly to bed.

About six years ago, when I was training for my first marathon, I did a similar thing. I was all anxious for a long run the next morning, I think it may have been the first time I was running 16 miles, and was especially worried that I had not drunk enough water that day. So what did I do? That's right, I chugged a full water bottle and then went directly to bed.

And just like that night oh so long ago, with a bladder so full it's a wonder my abdomen didn't explode, I had a dream that I was actually in the bathroom. So there I am, sleeping, in my not-the-bathroom bed, thinking I'm in the bathroom and thinking it's time to relieve my bursting bladder.

As a kid, I wasn't one to wet the bed, so I'm not sure what that's like, but I can tell you that when you're a grown up, and you have a dream that makes you think you're sitting on a toilet, and you start to make use of that toilet, you don't stay asleep for very long. In fact, I think I even tried to wake myself up from my dream thinking, "LMNT, NO! You're in bed sleeping, you're not in your bathroom. DO NOT DO WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO--oh geez, too late!"

And let me set the record straight--I did NOT wet the bed. I was able to wake up and stop myself before anything got anywhere near the bed. But as a girl in her 30s that is just way too close a call.

Yep, I was right. That's a lot embarrassing.